As we grow, as we explore who we are, we become more and more ourselves. "Out Of The Shadows And Into The Darkness" is all about that journey.
Senta has been afraid of going for what she really wants all her life, although she has actually always known who she is. Her conflict was never about her internal identity but about external obstacles: her BDSM sexuality is not accepted, her vanilla lovers pathologize her, and even the BDSM community is a difficult and sometimes dangerous environment for an independent single female.
So when she decides to travel around the world to find the Dom of her desire, she is taking the motto 'go and discover who you are' very far, and very seriously.
This is a very brave decision and, yes, at times it is also very exciting. It's a kind of 'Date with Destiny'. Or, rather, a series of dates... And she does find the Dom of her dreams, eventually, after a lot of struggles and a lot of growing up which makes her, paradoxically, even more independent. But there is a lot of heartbreak on the way, and a lot of loneliness.
Loneliness has a very bad press. We have created the idea that lonely people are 'losers'. So daring to do anything that makes you different means you have to overcome not only the original issue but also the fear of loneliness, and on top of that the terrible loss of self esteem that being a 'loser' means.
But if you truly are stepping out of the world you lived in before, if you are on a unique journey, if you are finding your path in life, well, then a certain amount of loneliness is unavoidable.
There will be times when you don't have a partner. There will be times when you feel at odds with the BDSM scene or when you will have upsetting encounters within it, particularly if you are a single woman. There will be times when you will feel lonely within an existing relationship, when you realise that this is not really who you are, and that your journey is not over yet. That you need to get out on the road, again. And again. There will be times when you look at the greater picture and despair. When you will feel a loneliness that goes beyond the personal and when you feel, as Senta does, that living her sexuality openly, like others, and not having to hide a BDSM relationship and/or the fact that she is looking for one, will probably not happen within her life time.
This can be a hard path. Few would walk it if they didn't have to, if their need and courage to live their sexual identity wasn't greater than their fear of loneliness.
Daring to be lonely and daring to be yourself comes hand in hand.
Loneliness is not for losers, it is for those who dare to be strong. It is a part of the BDSM journey and indeed a badge of honour.
Maybe someone can design a symbol for it to wear as a secret jewellery.